I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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