honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
