Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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