I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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