I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize