He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
