dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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