you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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