forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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