watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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