i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
