Can i not drive my cunt home
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
