New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
