the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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