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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who'd you have sex with.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened

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