I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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