Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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