You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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