i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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