We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize