it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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