The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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