Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize