Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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