What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
