If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
