Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize