One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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