Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
