put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
