He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
