we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
