Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
