; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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