Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
