Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
