He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
