so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
