Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
