I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
