Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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