we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize