How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
