arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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