I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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