This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
