i always forget guys have bellybuttons
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
