I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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