I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
