Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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