they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
His hands were made for my vagina.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
