I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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