in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
