Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
