Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
